Thursday, December 25, 2008
There I am, under the Christmas tree. Now, to a few people, me... under the Christmas tree.. is a great gift. Of course, those people consist of mushy, loving parents, sweet grandparents, giggly little Mommy-lover-munchkins, and a Cajun man who found a teenage wife in Texas seven years ago... and maybe a few others.
But the best gift was not placed under the tree, but in a little manger. He was fully man and fully God.... and fully capable of carrying our sin to the cross.
Please take the time to watch this little video. It's called, "Jesus turned it all upside down." It's really awesome and interesting. Just take the time to listen to it. You'll love it!
I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and joy. I know I have.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Remember all that cleaning did last week? Well, you can't tell at all. Since then, toothpaste has been smeared on the bathroom tile, toys are tucked all over the place like Easter eggs, and all kitchen and livingroom surfaces are littered with all sorts of items ranging from evangecubes and books to tulle and wrapping paper.
[Side note- First, my sleeping little fingers types: rapping paper, and instantly I had this picture pop into my mind of a roll of wrapping paper with crossed arms and a backwards hat saying,"Yo, yo, yo! I'm the paper that raps, and I'm not talking' 'bout gifts. I'm rolling out lines and pumpin' out hits."..... I know, I'm nerdy. Btw, did you know the actually sell wrapping paper with rap lyrics on it? I googled it! Unfortunately, I couldn't find any clip art of cartoon wrapping paper to go along with this post and am too lazy to make my own.]
Anyway, isn't that the cost of preparing for any holiday? (Messes.... not necessarily accompanied by corny (w)rapping paper, I mean.) At least it's an organized chaos, if you know what I mean, and not a complete wreck.
Organized chaos is when you can look through the mess and still see the base of a clean home, a home that would only take about an focused hour or two to restore back to it's grandness.
So, what is going on here in our household? Well, my poor hubby hasn't been feeling too hot (sinuses, bah!), and yesterday our van went kaplickityplat. However, instead of feeling frustrated and upset, I was actually..... glad. You see, our van needs a good tune up and new tires, but we haven't been able to afford that expense just yet, and my husband uses the van for work (so it is often loaded with all sorts of things from ceiling tiles to ladders). It started acting a little funky a month ago, but cleared up, but I knew it was bound to happen again. I'm thankful that it happened just a few miles from our home, and Brandon was able to pull into a parking lot before it died. I'm also thankful that there is a really good auto shop between there and our house, and they arranged to have it towed to the shop (after we unloaded all the things Brandon would need for work).
Most of all, I'm thankful that my husband is getting his bonus check today, so we can afford to take care of this issue, and that he'll be off for a week following Christmas (so he can use up his paid vacation before they expire at the end of the year), so if they should need to work on the van for longer than a few days, we won't have to worry about it should we both need a vehicle at the same time. I felt like God was watching over us and providing for us, as He always does.
Anyway, today my friend Crystal is coming over for lunch. I've known Crystal for a long, long time. We use to play together as kids at the annual church convention in Texarkana, although, at the time, she was just my good friend's little cousin who we had to allow to tag along every where. Now she and her husband Pierre live in the town I grew up in. We don't exactly live close to each other (I'm on the North outer parts of Houston and she's on the South outer parts of Houston which translates into more than an hour's drive), but she's going to be on this side of town anyway... so it works out.
She's a teacher and is really good with children.... so my kids have totally attached themselves to her. When she comes over, the kids have to tell her about everything that has happened since we last saw her and show them all the new toys and crafts they have. She's really sweet, and I'm not just saying that because she sometimes reads my blog. (Hehe!)
Today I'm going to test out a recipe to make petits fours. I always loved those growing up, and sometimes someone would send us a box from Swiss Colony for Christmas. Mine are more like cake pops, not as detailed as theirs which literally look like mini-cakes with iced layers and all.
I'll post pictures later... and I haven't forgotten the request to post the recipe for my cinnamon rolls either. :)
Now... as a reward for reading my super-long posts (I don't know why I've been writing such long posts lately.... I guess I'm a rambler)... here's a cute picture of my boys playing together. These are Keagan's favorite toys. He likes to knock over whatever Nolyn builds.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Whew, grocery shopping.... it's quite a task, y'know, especially when it's one woman and three children against a massive store (we shop at H-E-B, which is more of a Texas thing).
Usually, Hubby and I go grocery shopping together, but this time I decided to brave it on my own. I did it all the time before we moved here (in August), and back then, I was still breastfeeding a baby. Now grocery shopping is a little easier, since, if the baby (who is 15 months old now) gets a little fussy, he can have a little snack (like a mini-bagel) or a bottle. (I have to admit, I really like it when my babies are big enough to hold their own snacks without making a huge mess. This really helps me get stuff done.)
Grocery shopping use to be this huge event I had to prepare for. I'd find my wrap. I'd "pre-wrap it", meaning I'd go ahead and arrange it on my body so all I had to do was slip the baby in. Then I'd have to get the two oldest munchkins and have a little talk with them.
We're going to the grocery store, and I expect you to listen. Uh-huh. It is very important that you pay attention to Mommy and stay by my side. Okay. Now, I have a list of things we can buy, and we cannot buy anything that is not on my list. *Nod* Please do not grab anything off the shelves unless I ask you too, okay? Yes ma'am. So, what did I just say? Listen and obey and don't grab stuffs off da shelf unwess you say so. That's right. Now, both of you go potty so we don't have to make any bathroom stops on the road or in the store, okay? But I don't have to go! Try to go anyway, okay sweetie?
Then, while they were tinkling, I'd nurse the baby so he'd be content during our shopping trip. Of course, once we were in the grocery store, Nolyn would ask a million questions about everything and everyone he saw (which often caused some embarrassing moments). By the end of the trip, I barely had enough energy to unload the groceries from the car, much less actually put them away. I would end up just putting away the refrigerated goods, then we'd all go down for a nap (after I nursed the baby again), and I'd finish the job later.
It was EXHAUSTING.
Now, grocery shopping by myself (with three children, but without my husband) is still tiring, but not as exhausting as it once was. I no longer have to have a ten-minute talk with the kids before we leave. I also don't have to get all the children ready, because Merikalyn and Nolyn are prefectly capable of doing that themselves (I would like to thank the inventors of flipflops, velcro shoes, and imitation crocs....). Of course, sometimes, in the middle of the grocery store, I realize that my daughter's shirt is on inside out and my son's shorts are on backwards and his shoes are on the wrong feet... but for the most part, they've got it together. (And if they don't, then they're giving all the people in the grocery store a good laugh for the day.)
Now that they have the routine down and know what to expect, all I usually have to say is, We're going to the store today to buy groceries. Please pay attention and stay by my side, okay? I confess, I am a little paranoid. I fear that someone will snatch one of my children (I mean, they are super-duper cute), so when we go somewhere, I panic if I cannot see them even for a second (and sometimes I can't see them because they are standing right behind me... and I don't realize it).
Now the only one I really have to prepare is the baby... diaper changes, bottles, maybe a snack or two, but he's pretty well-behaved and actually enjoys sitting in the cart (unlike my older two who HATED the cart). He usually twists his torso around and rests his arms and head on top of the back rest so he can take account of everything I put in the cart.
The only thing I haven't mastered in the art of grocery shopping (it is an art you know) is not buying duplicates. I now have about a dozen cans of cream of mushroom which is matched by my dozen cans of diced tomatoes. But hey, at least they can be used in a million and one recipes, so it's not like they'll go to waste.
Speaking of groceries.... what are some of your kitchen staples? What are few things you always like to have on hand, besides the common goods (flour, salt, sugar, eggs, milk, bread etc).
Mine are, obviously.... cream of mushroom and diced tomatoes, as well as:
- Sausage. My husband is cajun, so we use this often in dishes like jambalaya, gumbo, and red beans and rice. Venison is my favorite. (Did I just hear a vegan cry?)
- Tortillas. I love Mexican and TexMex food. I usually keep two kinds of tortillas on hand- corn and flour. And of course we always have tortilla chips as well.
- Canned green beans. I will eat them straight from the can, if you give me a chance. :)
- Bagels. I love bagels, but now days, I just buy them for the baby. They're a perfect snack that is easy for him to hold and doesn't crumble all over the place.
- Onions, specifically red onions. I mean, you could never have enough! (And green onions/chives too.... yum!)
- Rice. It's true, I wasn't a big fan of rice AT ALL when I first married Brandon. Growing up, we ate potatoes with everything. Cajuns, well, they eat rice with everything. I've converted, and we eat rice several times a week. (Although I still love potatoes.) When funds (or groceries) are low, sometimes we make a gravy using cream of chicken and pour it over rice. Pretty tasty!
What is your favorite thing about grocery shopping, and your least favorite? I'm always curious to know how others feel about doing this chore. I wish we had a farm and were able to grow/raise our own food, but that just isn't possible right now (and my garden was left in Louisiana). My least favorite thing about grocery shopping is the crowds. I really like to grocery shop with my husband, but he's not available until evenings or weekends, when stores here are PACKED and CRAZY. My favorite? I like food.. so.. :) getting more food is always fun.
When Merikalyn was a baby and we were living in Indiana (and we were sharing a big apartment with my brother), Chip (my brother) said he was going to take over the grocery shopping, and I had a little postpartum breakdown. I seriously shed big, fat, juicy tears over it, which won my case, as I was still able to do the grocery shopping for all of us. Through my sobs, I managed to say, B-b-buuut... it's my... *sniff* only *gurgle*.... time... *sniff* out of the *sob* house! As a new mother, I really looked forward to that time grocery shopping because it was a change of scenery! Plus, back then, grocery shopping was the only time I was allowed to get in my "retail therapy" (even if I still had to stick to a list and a budget). Now I no longer need retail therapy. My therapy nowdays usually consists getting RID of stuff, not getting MORE stuff.
If you have any funny grocery shopping stories... share them, and give me a little laugh!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
It is hard to believe that Christmas is less than two weeks away. We have been waiting patiently for my husband's bonus, which may not even come by Christmas, so therefore we have not purchased any gifts for anyone. While it would be nice to have them nicely wrapped and ready to be handed out when everyone is here fellowshipping together on Christmas day, it's not absolutely necessary, so my family may just have to wait until New Years to unwrap their presents.
The last few years have been very trying for us financially, and now it seems we are getting it "together", although I hesitate to even think the thought because, when I do, something often goes wrong.
God has certainly taught us many lessons and revealed so much to us through these financial difficulties. We learned about the hardships of running your own businesses (whether it be a restaurant, a landscaping company, or carpentry), and especially the hardship of scheduling things when you are running several businesses at one time.
We learned that, sometimes, those things you dream and yearn for are not as great as they once seemed once they become a reality. This has taught me to be careful what I wish for, pray for, and strive for.
The lesson I seem to learn over and over is to rely on God, not to push forth my own plans and agendas.
My mom tells a story about how, when I was younger, I asked if I could do something specific (neither of us can remember what is was, but it may have been something along the lines of attending a school dance or going to a coed party). I really, really wanted to go- and, at the time, I couldn't see anything wrong with my desire, so I begged and pleaded for permission.
Mom didn't give me an answer, instead she told this preteen to go pray about it. I sighed and wandered back to my room, plopped on my bed, and said, "God, I really wanna do this. Whadya say?"
A few minutes later, I returned to the kitchen, and replied, "God said yes."
Now, truth be told, I hadn't really sought God's direction. I knew what I wanted, and I wanted the answer to be yes. Even in adulthood, I have to watch that I do not transfer my own ideas and opinions onto what God is telling me to do.
At times it has been so difficult to translate the answer God is giving me. Sometimes it takes a while, and, well, I'm an impatient gal. Othertimes, the answer is right in front of my face, but I refuse to look or accept. And, there are those times when I want something so bad, I make it happen and claim it to be God's will for my life.
Of course, the devil is often standing by tempting me as he tempted Eve in the garden, or planting schemes and ideas in my head as he probably did with Sarah, Abraham's wife.
Even the best laid plans with the best intentions will go poorly when God has not approved them.
However, I am thankful that God has been able to use the messes I've made to teach me great lessons. Because of our financial mistakes, I learned how to be frugal. I truly learned the value of a dollar. I learned how to make meals stretch. I learned how to be content with what I have.... to appreciate the blessings I've already received, and to recognize little blessings here and there. In fact, God used our financial hardship to teach me how to better care for my family. Because we could no longer afford to eat out as often as we were, I had to really learn how to cook, and I learned that I enjoyed it. I had to learn how to plan meals and not be wasteful. I had to learn how to have good, clean, cheap (or free) fun. I learned that pennies, nickles, dimes, and quarters are still very valuable... and there were (are) many times I save up change to buy groceries and treats (like Taco Bell!). I learned that most of the meals we eat are very luxurious. Some people have the same stuff, day after day, with not much taste at all. In short, I had to learn how to make do, and in making do, I found that I actually was more satisfied, more at peace, than I was chasing after "more stuff".
And now it's Christmas time, a time when the media greatly emphasises STUFF and how much we need it, deserve it, and absolutely must have it. In fact, I saw a commercial the other day for Discover (credit) card which promised to help you spend smarter. See, even the credit industry realizes that people are not spending smart (how can you miss that with all the bailouts and issues going on today). And Target realizes it too. They have been running a commercial to get you to buy things because it's "cheaper" or more "economical" when you cannot afford to do the stuff you really want to do. These businesses aren't really out there to HELP YOU save money, but they sure package it up that way. Businesses like Target and Discover are really out there to get your money, so they play up to your situation, your emotions, things you're dealing with... and appeal to you through all of that. And it works. (Oh, and don't even get me started on Wal-mart. We do not shop there, although I do get my hair trimmed in the style salon there.)
Christmas time is so costly because, not only do we have to buy the best gifts for everyone, but we also must, absolutely must, decorate our home for the season. It is appealing and beautiful, but hey, it's only for a season, and then it must all be packed away for eleven months until it's Christmas time again (and most people buy more and more decor every year). The other day I thought, "This year we'll put out some Christmas lights." They were on sale, so I loaded a few boxes into my cart, and then thought.... okay, even on sale, this is going to end up costing me around $15-$20. I was already buying things I NEEDED (like medicine), and I knew I didn't need to spend twenty more bucks on things that were not a necessity. Afterall, I could use that money for a good bit of groceries, or for a pair of pants for Nolyn (who only has one good pair of pants... a gift from my brother, and another pair which has holes in the knees). I began to think of all the things I could use that money on, and I realized that I could not buy those decorations and feel good about it.
Because of our financial hardship, even when we do have money to splurge, I find myself always contemplating and analyzing every dollar I spend. Of course, I do still splurge now and then (on crafts, on fast food treats, on a new blouse... etc), but I no longer just toss stuff into the shopping buggy without carefully considering it first.
I think that many of us have bought into the lie that if something is on sale, we should buy it. If it's ridiculously cheap, then we must have it. Therefore, we waste our money on stuff we don't need, probably won't ever use, stuff that will just crowd our shelves and take up space... because it was cheap.
I use to feel if I came across an outfit that was really cheap, then I should buy it. I ended up with a closet full of really cheap things that I didn't care to wear. I would have been better off paying full price for things I really loved and having just a few outfits I actually liked to wear.
Anyway, this has become a novel, indeed. My point being, in this season... and all seasons to come, watch what you spend. You will never be satisfied by materal things. Only God can satisfy. You will always be discontent with the way your home feels, the contents of your wardrobe, the things you have (or don't have), your lot in life... if you have not learned to rely on the Lord and be content with the blessings he has given you. You will never be satisfied by your own desires and dreams. God may not take you down the road you planned, but I promise, if you follow his direction, you will be much happier than if you had followed your own.
And that's just it- we need to recognize that God gives us ALOT. And, even those of us barely scraping by are extremely rich compared to most of the world who live on just a dollar a day.
Something to think about.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I love to write. When I was in highschool, I also kept a paper journal. These journals are quite scary to look through. Wandering through a teenager's mind can be a frightening thing! I remember feeling hopeless. I felt different from the rest of my family, different from those at school, too- like I didn't fit in. I was a creative person, and usually expressed myself through poetry or art. Some of the things I wrote were dark and dismal, sometimes I wrote happy things, but I often wrote about being broken hearted, lost, and alone.
I grew up reading the bible, but back then, it seemed like this inspirational guide to life (with frightening, intimating stories mixed in). I read it, but there was a veil over my eyes. I still felt lost and hopeless, and day after day I would fall into bed feeling like a failure. I just couldn't live up to the standard. I was doomed.
When God revealed the mystery to me- when I begged the Lord to clean the slate... take away everything I had previously learned about the bible from others and replace it with His wisdom as I read the bible- I began to feel so much freedom. I began to see that the law is to show us that we are incapable of perfection, incapable of reaching God's standard on our own.
God began to show me how those things that were different about me, those things that made me feel like I didn't belong or fit in, were actually gifts. He reminded me that He had made each person unique, with special talents and gifts, with different attitudes and personalities.... all for a reason.
Before, I found myself dragging my guilt along side me wherever I went as if permanently chained and bound to it. The LORD set me free. He revealed the purpose of His grace and mercy.
I was trying to obtain salvation on my own- by my good works, but the LORD revealed, through his Word, that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone. No wonder I felt miserable at the end of the day- I was trying to achieve perfection alone, something impossible to do without the blood of Jesus Christ.
When I think over those years recorded in my teenage journals, I think about the lostness, the hopelessness..... all that guilt... and those years I thought I was walking with Christ but I NEVER KNEW HIM.
I know there are many out there living like I was- reading and praying, but feeling like God is distant. Trying to live their lives for God, but never really knowing God. Reading the bible but never really understanding.
Faith, wisdom, and understanding come from the LORD. We nourish these things by getting into the Word and coming to Him in prayer- meeting with Him and having quiet time.
As we see in the bible, only Jesus can make the blind see. My prayer is that anyone who is struggling with their faith would really come to know and understand Jesus and the promises God has given us.
It is a miserable thing to feel the way I once did... but I know God had to bring me to the end of myself and help me understand that I was horrible at living and directing my own life in order for me to turn it over to Him!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Well, I don't have time to write it all out, so how about I share some of the photos I took yesterday?
The only way to get a decent photo of the munchkin was to give him something to eat, and this cookie (which I baked a couple days ago) was just the ticket!
I cannot believe how big he is getting! He's going to be FOUR soon!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Heart of the Matter's Weekly Meme (from November 14th):
Things That Make Our Family Unique. What experiences do you have that you can share with other mothers?
2. When I was younger, I wanted to be a interior designer, actress, child psychologist, and fashion designer (all at once). Instead, I became a mom, which is about 1000 careers in one.
3. I'm from a little town in Texas called Alvin. (Home of Nolan Ryan!)
4. I would love to have a dozen children. Preferably not all from one birth, though. (But I'll take as many or as few as God blesses me with.)
5. I was born at a very young age. (This is my dad's saying... and if you don't get it.. then keep reading it until you do.)
6. My husband is very talented. He can build a house, lay out a gorgeous landscape, fix toilets, invent things from scratch, but he also knows how to garden, sew, cook (man, can he cook), and put together a beautiful bouquet of flowers. His mama taught him well!
ps- What is a meme?
A "meme" is known as a question or set of questions or ideas focused on one theme. In other words, a meme is a themed blog post which is much like a customizable chain letter. One person writes about a specific theme and encourages others to do the same (while linking to the original poster).
Since so few people understand where the word comes from and what it means, it is often mispronounced as "me-me" instead of "meem" (as in theme, replacing th with m).
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
And yes, I realize I am very "country" sounding. Here are some pictures of all of our family.... in the form of popcicle kids! Yes, Nana, Poppa, MawMaw and PawPaw.... Uncles, Aunts, and... hmm, I should make one of the dog.
Here's our little family- Brandon, Mandy, Merika, Nolyn, and Keagan!
My husband and brother-in-law look very similar, so I asked my kids how I should "decorate" them so they stand apart. Merika told me, "Well, Uncle Why-an (Ryan) has a bigger gommatee (goatee) than Daddy." She's right- Brandon keeps his trimmed, Ryan doesn't. Nolyn said, "Uncle Why-an wears a hat, too. And sometimes he's got dirt on him." Also true! When we lived in Louisiana, they saw a lot of their uncle- but it was usually after work!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Women are known for being confusing and unpredictable.
As I watch people interact in their relationships, as friends and strangers come to me for encouragement and direction, and as I look over my own marriage I see this to be true.
Women tend to be coded. So often, we say one thing and mean another. We have some married friends who go in circles. The husband seems to always be walking on eggshells as he tries to translate his wife's words and tones. His wife seems to be speaking a different language- same words, different definitions.
You know what I'm talking about.
When he asks, "Are you okay?" and she answers with, "I'm fine," you can be sure things are not fine at all!
It seems many women expect their husbands to be mind readers. Early on in marriage I learned that if I wanted or expected something from my husband, I was going to have to be very blunt about it. Subtle hints and attempts at telepathy were not going to work.
In other words, if your husband asks what you want for Valentine's Day, and you say, "You don't need to get me anything!" then don't expect to get anything for the holiday. He is only doing exactly what you told him to do!
And, if you want him to remember Valentine's Day, your birthday, or your wedding anniversary, it would be good to remind him of it a month before the date, a week before the date, and the day before the event. Our husbands have a lot of their plate. They don't intentionally forget these things, and forgetting a special occasion does not mean your husband doesn't love you.
Of course, a man can sense when something is wrong, especially when his wife is huffing and puffing, slamming cabinet doors, and banging around dishes. So why is it when a husband notices his wife is in a mood and asks, "Honey, what's wrong?" she sighs and growls, "Nothing!"
Men understand women like to be pursued during courting, but this whole idea of pursuing and pulling the truth out of their wives baffles them. Why won't she just tell him what's wrong? Why does she make it a guessing game? Why does she drag it out?
I have no idea why some women do that. I've done it myself and afterwards I think, "Was I intentionally trying to pick a fight? What result did I think this would bring about?"
We need to say what we mean and mean what we say. No word games. No mind games. We cannot expect our husbands to read our expressions or read our minds. How would we feel if we had to decode our husband's every word and action? This sort of game causes resentment to build up. It does not resolve issues.
When I am feeling needy, I have to tell my husband. When I desire my husband to be romantic, I have to tell my husband. When I am feeling offended or hurt, I have to tell my husband. I cannot wait around for him to figure it out on his own.
Likewise, when my husband wants me to do something, he kindly tells me. When he expects something from me, he lets me know. He is always loving and gentle with his words, so it makes fulfilling his request easier because I don't feel he is rudely demanding or ordering me around.
We need to remember our words are powerful- not just what we say, but how we say them... our tone. Yelling and griping rarely produces the result we desire. Beating around the bush and expecting our husbands to reach the correct conclusion will leave us disappointed (and will make our husbands frustrated)!
"Say what you mean and mean what you say" does not mean we should be rude and blunt about things that would be hurtful. Sometimes we have a tendency to spout off when we're angry- using our words as arrows that painfully wound and bruise. "Say what you mean" does not give us a right to be hostile, to attack our spouse. Words and actions cannot be unsaid or undone.
Proverbs 31 (verse 11, I believe) says "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her". Our husbands should be able to trust that our words will be honest, but gentle- not deceptive or harsh.
A husband cannot trust in a wife who plays games with his emotions, a wife who does not speak with love and kindness.
This post is first post in a series of posts under the topic of "Proverbs 31 Woman".
Images from Corbis.com
Friday, November 14, 2008
Nolyn, Keagan, and Merikalyn (I believe this was our Christmas photo last year)
Me (October 2007)
Sweet Merikalyn with Keagan (who was not even a day old in this photo)
A handsome Nolyn
A sweet uncle (Ryan, my husband's brother)
Me, Brandon, Nolyn, and Merikalyn at my nephew's game (Brandon's nephew, really)
Playing "horsey" with Merikalyn when I stopped by after working a shift at the restaurant.
A chubby 2-year-old Merikalyn
His expression is so hilarious!
"Hello? Hello? This is not a phone, it's a cat!" :)
Oh how I miss that baby-fine hair. *Sigh* He's so big now. He was just about one and a half in this photo.
I believe this was Christmas 2005
I woke her up from a nap just before we were about to leave for dinner with Brandon's boss.... and she had found some markers, colored all over herself (even in her nostrils) before falling asleep on top of the markers!
Time flies, my friend. I was looking at photos of a bloggy friend's newborn baby- her first, and I couldn't help but think, "Wow.... wasn't it just yesterday I was cuddling my sweet little girl? My firstborn?"
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I wish I could explain how I feel today. Words simply aren't good enough, but I'll try.
I feel like I'm sitting on the beach. A warm, sunny day. A slight breeze. Water licking at my feet. There are no worries. No frets. Cheerful giggles erupt from children building sand castles, and the sounds of the ocean seem to praise the God who made it.
That's the kind of day I've had.
No, I haven't had a day at the coast. I've been busy around our home cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, kissing booboos, playing peekaboo with the baby.... but I feel so content, even happy to do the chores around the home.
The last few weeks have been a bit stressful for me, but I feel like God gave has given me a little "vacation" the last three days, for which I feel incredibly blessed.
That isn't to say there haven't been disappointments (our van is out of commission, which isn't good), but there has definitely been more to smile about than to frown about.
I feel like so often I allow the pressure and the small let downs of my day to pull me under instead of focusing on the abundant blessings God has bestowed upon me. I am glad I can trust God with my burdens AND my blessings.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
I am able to look back over this week and see is provision. I cannot help but praise the God that loves me so well and blesses me though I do not deserve it!
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
I praise the Lord stilling me with his hand, giving me patience, and lavishing me with love and kindness. How great a God that he would renew my spirit each morning in His word- a God who gives me faith, wisdom, and a desire to serve him- things that could never come from myself, but only from Him!
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee. Isaiah 54:10
Please, share your stories (or links to posts) of how God has blessed you this week... or even a bible verse that He has encouraged you with!
Monday, November 10, 2008
That's my story. I grew up reading the bible, thinking I understood it, trying to live it. I explain it as "the God fan club". Man, I was a big fan of God. I read his book (the bible) and thought I knew him. I even prayed regularly! I went to church Sunday mornings, sometimes even in the afternoon, and on Wednesdays too.
Colossians 1 (v25-27) refers to God's way as a "mystery" (which He began to reveal to the Gentiles). I remember thinking, "How can this be a mystery to anyone today? It's all written out and neatly bound!"
It wasn't until God revealed the mystery to me that I understood. You see, the words in the bible are just words unless the Holy Spirit gives us understanding. Yes, they may be inspirational. They may give us good direction for our life, but we will never get the "full use" of the bible unless God lifts the veil of mystery.
When God began to lift that veil for my husband and I, we felt like we were being slammed left and right (and head on!) with revelations. Verses we had read hundreds of times suddenly had a different meaning. Things that weren't so clear, suddenly were. Now, God hasn't clarified the whole bible to me- it's an ongoing process, but in that first month, I remember being so overwhelmed by the information in the bible.
But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I always believed God was merciful and forgiving, but I had the hardest time comprehending that he would be merciful and forgiving in my direction. I had no problem believing he would lavish others with his grace, but accepting that for myself was another thing.
I remember one specific moment. I remember the place. I remember the dimness of the room. I remember the feeling of hopelessness. I was so angry and frustrated with my husband. I felt like there was no way the two of us could make it. It just couldn't be.
God pricked my heart and said, "Mandy, I know your husband has done wrong, but the person you're really upset with is yourself."
It was easier for me to hold my anger against my husband, than turn my anger on myself. It was easier for me to clench my fists with unforgiveness towards him rather than realize the person I really had difficulty forgiving was myself. Somehow I knew God would forgive him for his sins, but I just couldn't grasp that God would forgive me for mine. I didn't deserve forgiving.
And in that moment, I cried, "I cannot bear this! I always make a mess of my life when I try to do it my way! How could you possibly forgive someone who is drenched with sin? I cannot make this right! I cannot fix my life! I only make it worse!"
That's when I felt the closest to God. Maybe it's because I was at the end of myself. I was so miserable. I had been miserable before- I had been living in misery for years, but this was different. I felt like it was life or death.
And then I felt like reality smacked me upside the head. I am a sinner. Not just a person who makes mistakes. Not just a person who sins, but A SINNER. Jesus died for sinners. Not for people who "have it all together", but for sinners. (And, by the way, no one has it all together!)
Sometimes we have to break down (multiple times, even) before we look up. I began to see that I would never deserve heaven. I had been living with that pain inside.... trying to "win heaven", and always crashing at the end of the day feeling beaten.
God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)I realized, Jesus didn't die for me because I'm good, he died for me because I'm a sinner. He died for me because there is no way, no how that I could possibly pay the debt I owe.
My dear children, I write this to you so you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. (1 John 2:1-2)That moment, there in the livingroom, my husband and I confessed our sin together kneeling in front of the couch. At that moment, we were no longer lost. We were found. We adopted into his family. We were children of God.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should beAnd then, the months following were filled with change- not just within us, but around us. We not only were moved within, but we physically moved. God brought us back to my husband's home state where we started the next "phase" of our life.
called children of God! (1 John 3:1)
Let me tell you, life has not been the same since. I am not saying life has been peaches and cream since God transformed our lives, but I have never felt that extreme feeling of hopelessness again. We have still had hardships. Anyone who tells you giving your life to God will roll out a perfect life is telling a fib. The bible doesn't support that at all. The bible tells us there will still be difficulties- in fact, our spirit will constantly be at war with the flesh, but we are covered by the blood of Jesus, which makes all the difference.
Of course, just like any relationship, my relationship with Christ must be nurtured. When I fail to meet with him, when my plans began to trump his plans, and my spirit becomes less content. I can always tell when I haven't been praying or reading enough. I see sin slowly creeping into my life. Subtle.
Watch and pray so you fall not into temptation, for the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)
I may become dissastisfied with the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I may become easily irritated and frustrated with my family. I raise my voice more, have less self-control. I begin to think of myself more than I think of others. I may begin picking apart my husband. I find myself not sleeping well.
Things don't run very smooth when I am not going to God for daily guidance. I want to do good, I want to serve God, but my flesh wants to serve myself. The only way to keep myself from falling into that is to be diligent in seeking God.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:21-25)I know sometimes we think that people don't change- and if they do, they certainly don't change in a day.... but the truth is, people do change. God transforms. When he touches our lives, he doesn't leave us like he found us!
Yet, people are slow to believe one has changed. I know people were slow to believe that in me, and I am sometimes slow to believe that of others (especially since sometimes I believe people have changed only to find out it was a clever trick).
After God renewed me, I wanted others to see the change within me. I wanted them to trust me, to believe in me, to rejoice with me- but I realized that those things take time, and so I had to allow my actions to be the proof.
Sometimes my children are denied something because they've misbehaved, and then, once they realize they won't get whatever it is, they say, "But we're behaving now!" I have to remind them that, while I'm glad they are behaving now, they need to behave all the time, not just when they want something. And it takes time for me to observe their behavior. God rarely gives us the blessing first. Usually, the blessing follows our obedience. People will know that we are transformed when they see us "behaving all the time", so to speak. We might not have really changed, but instead put on a good show of "conformity" for a while, but it won't last if God isn't in it. It won't last if it's of our own power.
The blessings of trust and friendship are what follow when people observe that our behavior has really changed. We can say that we've changed. We can say a lot of things, but our actions speak much louder than words. Our actions must be consistent and must match our words.
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (I John 3:18)On the other end of things, I feel like we must be encouragers to those who are revealing the transformation of God in their lives. We may not be able to fully trust them, we may be watching to see if good fruit forms, but we can still love them.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)I know this is often easier said than done, because loving still requires a little trust, and when we love, we risk getting hurt, but I think about how Jesus loves and was willing to die on the cross... even for those who hung him on the cross. Jesus was willing to be crucified FOR LOVE.
So what is a little hurt compared to that?
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,I don't know if I've made much sense in this post. Probably not. But I've just been thinking about my own situation, and someone else's situation. While our stories aren't the same, they are similar enough in the trials and temptations we have found ourselves in, the heartache we've felt, and the hopelessness we've cried over. The difference is that this person is I'm on the other side of it now, and this person is "crossing the bridge" (so to speak).
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the
law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2)
I know you wish you could run across that bridge, hurry to the other side, but give it time. Focus on your relationship with God. Read the bible. Lean on the Word of God.
God doesn't always allow us to be freed from the consequences of our actions. We often have to face them- and it's never fun, but your life- and the mess you've made of it, is a testament to the greatness of God that, even though you (and I) don't deserve it, God extended his grace and mercy- he out stretched his hand to the hopeless and gave us hope. Your transformation in Christ will give glory to His Name.
If we could change ourselves, if we could earn heaven, that wouldn't glorify God at all. When we are weak and frail and there is victory in our lives- there's no doubt that God was in control.
Anyway, once again, I don't know if I've made much sense... but... just putting it out there. I'm not a theological professor. I'm not a preacher. But I do cherish the things God has revealed to me, and feel like he has asked me to share my life experiences with others to give them hope, and let them know that God does more than restore.... he revives.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
November 8, 2002
The Fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion ;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle -
Why not I with thine ?
[Percy Byssche Shelley's Love's Philosphy]
My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for six. There are so many things I wish I had known, really known, before I was married. I realize people tried to impart these bits of wisdom to me, but when you're young and in a whirlwind of emotional love, you are blinded. You are living in a fantasy land, absolutely positive that you won't go through those phases and issues other marriages go through. No, your love is different. Your love is true.
What I wish I would have known before I married: (Seven things for the seven years we've been together.)
1. Love is not a feeling, its a choice. The bible makes that clear in telling us to love people who may be difficult to love (like our enemies, our neighbors, etc). However, so many little girls are raised with fairy tales, and we fall into the belief that Prince Charming will whisk us away, and we will love (all together now) Happily Ever After.
2. Love is not a battlefield, or at least your marriage isn't, so quit recruiting army. Whenever my husband did something wrong, I'd run tell my parents. Of course, I wasn't about to tell them about all my flaws (though they knew them well). I had recruited an army in my friends who would tell me just what I wanted to hear and even encouraged me to leave. "God wants you to be happy," they'd say. Looking back, I am thankful for those few who told me to suck it up and work on my own issues before I tried to work on his.
3. If you're going to keep a list of all the slip-ups and failures of your husband, then you need to keep a list of your own. If we're looking for flaws in another person, we're bound to find them because everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. In the beginning of a relationship, we focus on every single lovely detail, and as we settle into that relationship, we begin to pick apart every single flaw. Somewhere in between, we must have removed our rose-colored glasses, yet we put them back on when we look at ourselves. Before we can expect our husbands to be the godly man we desire him to be, we have to be the godly wife he needs. If he's waiting for you to change, and you're waiting for him to change... there will never be any change. Suck it up. Start with yourself.
4. Don't open the door to divorce, not even a crack. Don't consider it. Instead, consider working through the issues under the grace of God. Separation doesn't lead to a "clearer mind". It rarely helps anyone correct their issues. Separation leads to more separation. Separation makes it harder to get back together. How can you work on your marriage if you are not together? How can you work on your marriage if you are living separate lives?
5. Children don't strengthen a marriage unless your foundation is in the Lord. I can certainly tell you that is true.
6. Reading and praying together on a daily basis is one of the best ways to feed your marriage. It'll keep you on the same page. It will help you be spiritually intimate.
7. Don't get caught up in keeping up with other people. You'll never be satisfied. Then, one of you, or both of you, will have to take more time away from the family to pay off those bills of things you had to have but didn't need. Instead, be content with what you have. Realize the blessing you have before you. If there's an emptiness within you, fill it with God, not more stuff. Debt is a curse.
But most of all- if I would have known God- really known God- things would have been different. Thankfully, God used our marriage, our children, the good, the bad, the ugly to lead us into His arms. God has blessed us. We don't deserve it, but he has blessed us anyway!! The things we have gone through in our marriage have given me a desire to help others in their marriage- help them overcome and succeed. I hope God will use us to help others who are struggling in their marriage. God transforms. He transformed me. He transformed my husband. I am not the woman I was when I married- and I know my husband is thankful for that! :)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [Hebrews 12:1-2, NKJV]
The New International Version reads, "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles." It is so easy to become entangled in sin. We can look around at the churches of today and see the church itself is not only warped with sin, it condones it.
Here it says that we should lay aside every weight. What are these weights? Maybe these weights are things that are not necessarily sin, but are not encouraging the Word of God within us. These are things that distract us from God's will for our lives and maybe even hinder us from doing His will. These distractions may be your television, your computer, or sports. Maybe it's our hobbies or our job (and, let me say, there's a fine line between providing for our families and working to satisfy our greed). Maybe we are trapped in the busyness of our lives. Do we have our children involved in too much? Have we become a taxi service to their playdates and activities? Maybe, as stay at home moms, we decided to start a small business out of our home. Have we become obsessed with it? Has it taken over our duty as the keeper of hearts and home?Has it overrun our time with God?
I know I have a tendency to allow my reading and writing to get in the way of my "home blessings" (as Flylady calls household chores). I get caught up in reading articles- most of which are very encouraging, Christian writings- but fall behind in my duties as wife and mother. Maybe I fail to do the laundry, so my husband doesn't have the slacks and shirts he needs for the next day, or the dishes pile up. Whatever the case, my hobbies should come after my duties, and many times they don't.
The television use to get in the way of our family worship time when we settle down together to read the bible, sing, and pray. We had this issue a while back and had canceled cable, but since our move, we had set up an HD antenna to improve our regular digital channels. We fell back into the habit of watching shows that condoned sin, especially sexual sin, and I knew that we needed to get rid of it, but part of me wanted to keep it because, well, it's just so entertaining!
As I read my bible, I was reminded that it was sinful to take a stand against certain things that the bible deemed as sinful, but allow others to slip by while I justified them. As fallen humans, we tend to categorize sin. You know, murder is worse than sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage is worse than dishonesty. Dishonesty is worse than gossip. However, in the eyes of our God, sin is sin.
So we must set aside all sin- not just some sin, or the sin we don't like- but all sin. We can't hang on to the sin that is entertaining or that we think "isn't so bad".
In I Thessalonians 5, verse 22, Paul exhorts the people to "abstain from every form of evil". We are to steer clear of every appearance of sin. This means we shouldn't be watching plays, shows, or movies that condone or laugh along side sin. This means we must encourage our children to stay pure, and help them understand what sexual sin means. We must prepare and inform our children if we want them to abstain from sin. If we haven't, they will walk straight into it.
If we are going to stand against sins like abortion and homosexual marriage (two things that seemed to be at focus in this years presidental election) claiming they are against God's will, then we must stand against all sin which is against God's will without justification and excuse. We shouldn't pick and choose. Either we follow the Word of God or we don't. Personally, I believe that the New Testament is full of essentials. We live according to the New Testament. However, the Old Testament is still full of guidance and promise. While I feel the Lord has led us to give him control over our fertility, a belief founded in the Old Testament, I do not believe this is essential to salvation for all people. Yes the Old Testament is a very important part of our bible. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 has been such a guiding light for me (as have the other chapters in Proverbs) and Psalm has been a beautiful lesson in prayer and worship. I have learned much from the lives of Adam and Eve, Noah, Moses, David, and Daniel (and many more), but Jesus died on the cross and rose again- therefore the promise these people awaited in the Old Testament was fulfilled in the New Testament. (Which is another entry for another time.) I bring this up because I have heard it argued from some as to why Christians cling to some practices and beliefs but not others, citing Leviticus (OT) which is full of practices that we no longer follow today.
Our family bible study has been in Romans and has given me a lot to think over. Paul talks about the sin of the world, and I think the first chapter of Romans clearly outlines what sin is and includes. (I am not going to post the whole chapter, but I encourage you to read it yourself! If you don't have a bible you can go to biblegateway.com)
He tells the church, "They know God's law says that those who live like this should die. But they themselves not only continue to do these evil things, they applaud others who do them." [Romans 1:32, NCV] The King James Version says they take "pleasure" in those who do them. (Note: This verse right here makes it clear that we shouldn't be entertained by those things which applaud sin. It so deeply convicts me to abstain from watching shows and movies that do! It could not be any clearer!)
So we know that murder is wrong. We're against it, but are we against deceitfulness? We say we are, but do we lie? Have we deceived our bosses or our spouse, even in the smallest way? One day, I went grocery shopping and saw a delicious microwaveable family dinner. I microwaved it put it in a nice dish, and hid the box at the bottom of the trash so my husband would think I had slaved over the stove and made it myself. This was deceitful! We like to think that deceit is when someone cons another person out of money or commits fraud and ends up in jail, but deceit is (by the definition given on dictionary.com) "concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading". A little white lie is a sin. Now, my husband never asked if I made the dish. He assumed I did. He simply said it was delicious, and I thanked him, but I was still commiting a sin of omission. Even though I never came right out and said I made it, I let him believe I did. Omission, or "concealment", is a sin as well. By the way, by the end of dinner, I had told him I bought the meal from the grocery store. He told me, "I would have never known if you hadn't told me," to which I replied, "I would have!"
Paul also lays out other sins like envy and gossip. These are often sins which Christians are involved with. Remember, if we're going to claim we follow the bible and claim we hate sin, then we must hate all sin!
So we shouldn't be reading gossip magazines or websites or watching gossip shows. We should not participate with gossip with our friends or co-workers. And, we need to be careful what we say to our spouse about other people because our children are always listening. Gossip seems to thrive in churches. It's so easy to get caught up in gossip. At first, it may start out as a genuine concern for a certain person, so we share news in the form of a prayer request. We have to be careful that our prayer requests on behalf of someone else don't become twisted into gossip, either by ourselves or by others. Sometimes gossip is created to slander a person, but we have to remember that often it begins in a seemingly innocent way.
The bible says gossip stirs up trouble, breaks up relationships, and causes anger. Sometimes people intentionally start rumors to do these things. The bible says gossip is a product of a corrupt mind and a wicked heart. Here is a link to a great biblical evaluation of gossip.
Envy. Well, that's a sin that's difficult to escape. However, I have found that we are really good at putting ourselves in positions which encourage envy. For example, we watch shows or flip through magazines (or even visit blogs) that feature all sorts of items we crave and desire. We want that lifestyle. We want that house. We want want want. I stopped buying magazines for several reasons. Most popular magazines encourage sexual sin, gossip, and selfishness. We become unsatisfied with who we are, how we look, what we have, what we can do, who we're married to..... These magazines have a knack for presenting beautiful lies, and we buy into them hook, line, and sinker.
There will be times when we find ourselves envying something or someone, even when we have tried to steer away from it.
As Christians, we are not perfect. We are not incapable of sin. In fact, we will sin, but we have God's grace and mercy to cover us if we are of a repentent spirit.
I remember someone who claimed to be a Christian telling me, "I know it's wrong to do [this], but if I tell God I'm sorry, he'll forgive me." That is NOT the right spirit at all. We shouldn't walk right into sin with the mindset that God will bail us out and let it go.
Again, I want to restate my point here.
We are to abstain from all evil and all sin. ALL evil. ALL sin. Get rid of it. Get rid of it all. So you may not be able to cover up that billboard with a woman provactively posed to encourage men to visit a "special club". You may not be able to convince that woman in the grocery store to put on more clothes, and ones that aren't so tight and revealing. But you can control what is in your home. You can control what you watch, what you hear, what you say, what you do. You can control what you allow to be brought into your home and what you take out of your home. Sometimes I try to justify something by saying, "We'll it's mostly good." Mostly good is not enough. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Don't get use to sin. Get rid of sin. Don't excuse it. Refuse it!
Remember the original verse I quoted? "Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses..." People are watching us. Sadly, there are many people parading around claiming to be Christians while living a life that denies Christ. We are sending a message to the world that you can "do whatever you want", but that's not what the bible teaches. Christians should not be getting drunk. Christians should not be involved in premarital sexual relations (that includes "petting"!). Christians should not allow filthy words to erupt from their mouths. Christians should not be trying to keep up with the world. Christians should not be focused on material things, like getting the latest iPhone, having the nicest house, or being the best dressed (and, let me tell you, I love clothes!).
What shall it profit us if we should gain the world but lose our soul? (Mark 8:36)
Separate yourself from sin. All sin. All appearance of sin. I have to remind myself to quit making excuses and just do it. I know I miss so many of God's glorious blessings when I cling to sin.
Do you want your children to have a great foundation in Christ? Do not allow sin to permeate your home. If not for your own sake, then for your children's. You think you are strong enough to resist the temptations on your television? Are your children?
"Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us." Runners don't want anything holding them back that may keep them from reaching the finish line. They want to be in the best of health. Do not poison yourself with sin. Let go of those things that, while they may not appear to be sinful, are holding you back in your service to the Lord, to your family, to the church.
I write this so I can look back on it and receive conviction and encouragement from what God has revealed to me. It is a reminder to me. Resist temptation. Refuse sin.
IT IS WORTH IT.
There is so much more I could write on this one chapter, but I'll save it for another day. I hope you have found yourself convicted and encouraged through the Word of God, as I have. Thank you for allowing me to pour out my heart... and reading it!
photos property of mandymom.com
Monday, November 3, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Nolyn and I made up a game. It's called "Base"ketball. This wonderful game is a combination of, you guessed it, baseball and basketball. You see, the goal of the game is for the pitcher to get the ball in the basket (which my husband is holding- it's actually a strainer with a handle). Then it is tossed back to the person with the glove (Nolyn).
And, just for cuteness- I thought I'd post this picture of Hubby feeding Kbaby
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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You can see my Unschooling Betta Fish comic @ The Precious Mind
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Hubby and I had a good giggle! Later, Brandon was asking her if she understood what we expected of her as far as her participation in our bible time. He asked, "Do you know what expect means?"
Merikalyn nodded and said, "Expect your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Ha! From the mouth of babes!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I think we tend to forget how important our roles in the family are, but, if we look back, we can see that as family bonds and roles have begun to decay, so has society. Of course, this is to be expected, as the bible says this will happen.
Paul tells Timothy that, "In the last days, perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good. Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God." [II Timothy]
The world has tried to convince us that children are sinless, innocent beings, but the bible tells that all are sinners. Many a book has been written advising parents to refrain from discipline. Discipline is a bad word. We shouldn't correct our children, we should let life correct them. They'll learn all they need to know from life. We should just toss them out there, keep a watchful eye, and allow them to learn the lessons from real life experiences. We don't need to protect our children! We shouldn't shelter our children! We don't want to create helpless little beings, do we? We've got to toughen our kids up!
This is even being served up to Christians who eat it all up and wonder why their children are disobedient, disrespectful, selfish monsters who have taken over the household! I'm ashamed to admit that I bought into this lie in the beginning of parenthood.
It is a lie, because the product they said would result from this sort of parenting is not what I saw being produced. What I ended up with was a big mess which I not only had to clean up, but had to REVERSE.
These people seek to twist the words of the bible or disregard them entirely. They aren't interested in the truth. It's lazy parenting, and we can see the end result in today's society- people with twisted values and a lack of morals.
Good parenting requires that you get up from the couch, turn off the TV and get active in your children's lives. It means you do what you say, and say what you mean. You don't allow your children to get away with bad, disruptive, and disrespectful behavior. You take care of it on the spot, without multiple warnings. Don't wait to act after you've raised your voice to a high volume and scolded them time and time again.
Sometimes we're busy, and we don't want to turn away from what we're doing to "nip it in the bud", so we warn our children time and time again, but they know we're not serious enough, so they keep on doing what they aren't suppose to.
Children pick up on inconsistencies. They also recognize when parents disagree, and will play parents (and other family members) against each other to get what they want.
So how do we teach children to be obedient, selfless, charitable, loving helpers who strive to live holy lives filled with passion for God?
First of all, we have to ignore the world's suggestions. We have to portray these qualities in ourselves first. We cannot ask our children to do anything that we have not been willing to do.
Children are very perceptive. They easily pick up on things. We never had to teach our children to be polite in saying please and thank you. It was among the first words in their vocabulary because we, as parents, used them often.
We have to be willing to do a lot of one-on-one character shaping, and we have to be willing to address those less-than-stellar qualities in our own lives and correct them so they are biblically sound.
It amazes me that people think that it's okay to allow the world to "toughen them up". I don't know why any parent would toss their child out into the realities of the world without first preparing their heart, mind, and soul. You don't toss a person into the operating room and expect them to learn how to become a doctor while working on a patient! No! First they learn in a safe environment. They practice. They become informed. They watch others. Then they get the chance to do it themselves.
Our home needs to be that safe environment in which children become informed- where they can watch us, where they can practice, where they are prepared for their ministry and for the world.
I'm not saying we need to hold their hand as they do everything, but children must learn how to behave and protect their minds and hearts before they deal with reality. Our homes should offer enough reality to shape them, without hurting them. Enough to prepare them, but protect them.
If we aren't THERE for our children, they will learn from someone else. As mothers fail to fulfill their duties at home and fathers fail to be leaders of their families, the family begins to crumble. We all have our excuses as to why we don't follow biblical direction, but one day, we will have to account for how we spent our time, and how well we did our duties. Have we doubled our talents? Have we been wise stewards of the blessings we have received?