Some friends of ours were headed into town this weekend to enjoy the Renaissance Festival, and asked if we'd like to go along. First of all, let me say my feet are aching. I was sure all that walking would knock off fifty pounds, but I think walking while eating a huge fried thing on a stick counteracts it. We arrived at ten in the morning and left around three-thirty-ish. We were all dragging our feet, and the kids fell asleep as soon as they buckled in the van (except for the baby who was cranky all the way home).
We thought the Renaissance would be a good lesson in "how things use to be"for the kids, but somehow, I still have to think the Renaissance is hardly a glimpse of how things use to be. Now, I've been to RenFest before. In fact, that's where my husband and I had our first date way back in the day. However, either I was blind then, or things have gotten much worse there. Actually, the truth is probably somewhere in between. Back then I didn't have the convictions I have now. Back then I was spending most of that day getting to know this man in my life whom I already knew I was going to marry. It was our first date after spending some time in my parent's home talking under their supervision. So, it's safe to say my eyes were on him, not on the crowd.
That being said, here's some things we all learned about Renfest
1. They should rename it the breastfest. It's amazing..... a horrible sort of amazing.... to see (not because you want to, but because you can't help it) what kind of things women do to their bosoms. They are constantly IN YOUR FACE. Some outfits held them as if they were on a platter, some squeezed them tight, some pretty much showed everything.
2. Apparently, back then, they had chainmail bikinis. Some guys are probably thinking, "AWESOME." Right... on sixty-year-old women? Remember, chainmail is see-through.
3. If you need a costume for the festival, look no further than your intimate drawer. Any bustier will do. Pair with tights, and wrap a scarf around your waste. Wah-la! (Of course, scarf is optional... that's for those "modest" people.)
4. Men, shirts are completely optional. In fact, clothes are completely optional. If you wish to wear a giant leaf over your parts, or just a little cowhide flap, that is acceptable. Quite refreshing in this heat, I suspect.
5. Also, it's acceptable to make suggestive jokes to little children as you bend down to their level and put your womanly goods in danger of toppling out of your top.
6. Don't forget men, you may also dress in skimpy fairy clothing if you so desire.
7. When you get tired, there's a place to stop and put your child in a cage-maze. Really, they suggest that you put your child in the cage so you can rest. Maybe I can get one of those for my backyard.
And, the most important lesson we learned from RenFest....
8. Modesty is overrated.
Now, you know I'm kidding, but seriously, these people haven't a lick of good sense (or style). Just because you got it, doesn't mean you should flaunt it. (And, if you don't got it, you still don't have to try to flaunt it.)
I wish these women understood how beautiful they would look if they were modestly dressed. Some of them had such beautiful costumes, which clearly cost quite a bit. These dresses were long and poofy, flowing and swaying so wonderfully..... except, the women felt they needed to "add a little something" by displaying their breasts. I'm sure they believed they looked gorgeous, but, in my opinion, the flashiness subtracted from their beauty.
Why is modesty so under-rated? I searched the crowds the whole time for a woman dressed like a true lady, and found NOT ONE. Did you get that? NOT ONE! I promised myself, when I did find such a woman, I would compliment the heck out of her. Isn't it sad that I couldn't find ONE woman dressed modestly? Oh wait, I do recall one.... one before I made my promise. She was one of the women who looked after the royal Scottish children and invited all the children to play a game of "red hat, green hat" (which is basically red light, green light). Oh, and I should mention our friends dressed up, and Ashley looked very modest and beautiful as well.. so, hey, two women in costumes were modest out of thousands!
Women say they want men to respect them, but showing your good is NOT the way to do it.
Brandon and I left saying we wouldn't return. The kids enjoyed themselves, and they are young enough, hopefully, to quickly forget the ugly images they saw. Kids don't usually focus on the things we do as adults, thank goodness. They did get some cool treats, like a sword for Nolyn and a beautiful flower wreath for Merikalyn's noggin.
Merika really wants me to make her a costume, and I think I may get to it for all of us so we can dress up for Reformation Day at the end of this month.