Monday, November 17, 2008

In God's Time...

Two things God has had to remind me of lately:

Children are a blessing, not a right.


All things come in God's time.... especially blessings.

As each month passes with an empty womb, I find myself pushing away frustration and impatience. As I watch our children grow, I wonder if there will be another one to follow, or if three is "all I get".

Then I have to remind myself that some couples have waited much longer, and some couples never birth a child of their own. God has truly blessed me with the three sweet little ones I have. Still, before Keagan was born, God gave me the promise of a large family- a promise which I fought against before really praying about it and opening my heart to the LORD. Sometimes, when God promises something, we want it in our time. Patience certainly isn't my biggest and best quality.

I know there are more children in our future. I know this because we are preparing for adoption (come December, we will begin our classes). (I won't tell you how eager I am to get through all the classes and "formalities" so we can give a child or sibling group in fostercare a forever home!)

I have to remind myself..... I am young. There is plenty of time for more biological children, and God has already picked out the child he desires for our family to adopt. I can't rush through it. I have to rely on God.

Sometimes I have to check my intentions and desires. My heart should not be focused on my own plans and wants, but rather on God's plans and desires for, not just my life, but the lives of those in my care.

I know God has a reason- He knows the bigger picture... and I don't, so I have to trust in Him.

I realize some people have a hard time understanding why I would want more children. Maybe some people think I don't need more. But I love children.... not just babies, but children of all ages. Even more, I love the children God has put in my care. I know they have taught me so much and blessed me more than I ever imagined.

God has used my experiences in raising my children to raise me.

I can't explain exactly how I feel about this all- but I know children are a great treasure, and I treasure the children God has given me, and pray that he'll continue to bless us with more children in the future.

In his time... of course.


Mommy N said...

This to me is one of the hardest desires, as a woman, to fully let go of. People tend to take for granted that if they any children that they can have more. When in truth, God is in full control. I also believe that God can't completely help us in any area until we surrender it to him and allow others to pray, cry, and sympathize with us. Thank you for sharing such an intimate desire. Congratulations on the classes. That in and of itself is exciting.

justme27 said...

I'm so excited for you- this adoption process is an interesting one. :)

We just got certified to foster/adopt yesterday.

Amy said...

Hi Mandy. I understand completely that mixed up feeling that roccurs monthly--wanting it to be in God's hands, thinking that we're content for His timing, and then that monthly disappointment. Not that it's huge thing every month, sometimes it's just a momentary thing. Othertimes it can be depressing, and then frustrating that we're disappointed. After all, we're ok with His timing, right?

Having two miscarriages, the wait for our first child should have had me buying stock in pregnancy tests! Perfectly understandable then.

I told myself that with the second that I was ok with His timing. And I was until a friend got pregnant and we felt God's leading to sell our farm. One month later I was pregnant, and we felt we had confirmation on selling the farm idea.

Now my baby is two and I'm 37 and I am mostly content with how He's blessed me with my children. But I have to admit that if, ahem, certain things are timed just right, that I can get a little eager waiting for the next two weeks to pass. But I completely forget about the monthly thing recently, so I am making progress on contentment in this area.

Kudos on your adoption plans!

Oh, and you are way too young to even think that 3 might be it for you! :-)

The Popes said...

We adopted our little girl (she was 7 months old) from foster care just last year and it was the greatest example of how God can work that I've ever seen.
After being told the wait would be long and we'd never get a baby, we brought her home a short 3 days after finishing the classes and her adoption was finalized within 6 months!
And oh the love I have for that little girl! I can' imagine anything greater!
Good luck!