Two things God has had to remind me of lately:
Children are a blessing, not a right.
All things come in God's time.... especially blessings.
As each month passes with an empty womb, I find myself pushing away frustration and impatience. As I watch our children grow, I wonder if there will be another one to follow, or if three is "all I get".
Then I have to remind myself that some couples have waited much longer, and some couples never birth a child of their own. God has truly blessed me with the three sweet little ones I have. Still, before Keagan was born, God gave me the promise of a large family- a promise which I fought against before really praying about it and opening my heart to the LORD. Sometimes, when God promises something, we want it in our time. Patience certainly isn't my biggest and best quality.
I know there are more children in our future. I know this because we are preparing for adoption (come December, we will begin our classes). (I won't tell you how eager I am to get through all the classes and "formalities" so we can give a child or sibling group in fostercare a forever home!)
I have to remind myself..... I am young. There is plenty of time for more biological children, and God has already picked out the child he desires for our family to adopt. I can't rush through it. I have to rely on God.
Sometimes I have to check my intentions and desires. My heart should not be focused on my own plans and wants, but rather on God's plans and desires for, not just my life, but the lives of those in my care.
I know God has a reason- He knows the bigger picture... and I don't, so I have to trust in Him.
I realize some people have a hard time understanding why I would want more children. Maybe some people think I don't need more. But I love children.... not just babies, but children of all ages. Even more, I love the children God has put in my care. I know they have taught me so much and blessed me more than I ever imagined.
God has used my experiences in raising my children to raise me.
I can't explain exactly how I feel about this all- but I know children are a great treasure, and I treasure the children God has given me, and pray that he'll continue to bless us with more children in the future.
In his time... of course.