Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Our fourth child

Most of my friends and family know by now, but some of you may not, so here goes.

Easter was going to be a big day for us. You see, we planned on announcing the coming of our newest blessing on that great day. Unfortunately, that morning, I miscarried the baby.

We are so blessed to have friends and family who instantly reached out to us to comfort and support us in this tough time. I was thankful that we told my parents the day before.

Don't feel like you must leave a note. I know it's difficult to come up with something to say, and you may be worried about whether or not it will be comforting or offensive.

We know our little one is with God now, and we will see our child again. I was thinking about how wonderful it must be to skip the heartache of earth and go directly to the golden streets and glory of Heaven. How awesome it must be to open your eyes for the first time and see God's glory.

I don't know how it all works- but I know God had plans for our baby, and they were fulfilled. I, personally, feel like we still received a blessing, even if she (?) never made it to our arms. EVERY child is a blessing, no matter how long they live.


Sheila said...

I know how you are feeling right now! We had a miscarriage before our little Cayden came along. It is HARD!! So many questions... but, try again! :)

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

I was thinking about how wonderful it must be to skip the heartache of earth and go directly to the golden streets and glory of Heaven. How awesome it must be to open your eyes for the first time and see God's glory.That is what you should set your heart and mind on. Beautifully said, dear Mandy.

I will be praying for you, my friend!


Leah said...

I read your first line and was all excited that we'd be pregnant together and then my heart broke for you in the next line :-( So sorry for your loss, Mandy.

Oh, *hugs* I have not gone through a miscarriage before so I know not what to say except that I'll be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Dear sister in Christ,
Blessings to you and prayers for peace and joy during this time. Today is the two year anniversry of my miscarriage of our 6th child. It was my first time losing a baby after 5 healthy pregnancies and births. We went on to have our precious Luke Daniel who just turned 1 at the end of March. My pregnancy with him would have overlapped the previous one and he would not be with us now. I often tell him how special and loved he is and also how God has a wonderful plan and purpose for his life. I wish to have known he baby that is now with Jesus and I know we'll be reunited, but if that child was with us then Luke wouldn't be. God's timing and plans in creation are PERFECT! It inspires me to see your testimony of trusting God with your fertility as I am going through a time of struggling with my beliefs/faith in this area. God bless you and your family! Love, Whitney in Ca.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Dear Mandy,

I myself have had two miscarriages. I refer to them as my "Glory Babies". I will see them when I am in glory. My heart breaks for you. Do not be afraid to grieve. I would suggest a rose bush or a tree to celebrate the short life that your baby had. I have a little baby tucked in angel wings that is made of resin in my garden. My sister gave it to me and it made me feel so good that someone acknowledged my loss.

I have had my sixth child and always had my heart on eight. Due to hip and pelvic issues I think this one will be my last. I asked God, "Why did I feel like you gave me the number eight?" He reminded me gently, "I did". Six on earth and two in heaven. (Sigh) OK, Lord, you gave me eight...

I will pray for you.

Sallie said...

Mandy - I was so happy for you when you announced it during AWI. Now, my heart is just breaking! I have been there...I have an ear to listen if you want or need to talk.

Much love and prayers,

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Mandy!

Arlene said...

I've been in your place, too. It's scary and heartbreaking. I feel a huge amount of love for you even though we've never met. My prayers are with you. God bless.

Luke said...

Lord, I ask that You will continue to bring comfort and encouragement to Mandy and her family. Give peace and joy in this time of mourning. Amen.

Hang in there!


Jeanette said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.... Hugs your other 3 blessings and know that God has a plan.


Me.. said...

I'm so sorry. I miscarried also and had sadness in my heart. It is a long, complicated story that is somewhere on my blog. Anyway, 6 years later, a little boy needed me in a special way. It turns out, his birthday was my due date, exactly. I felt God gave me this boy in my life to help me heal and fill the hole in my life. God is so amazing and wonderful! I know you know that. Take time to heal and lean on Him.

Amy Bayliss said...

I'm sorry. Mandy. You so inspire me. You are such a ray of sunshine even on cloudy days. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us and just know that we are praying for you and your family.

we love you, girlie!

CB said...

You have an amazing outlook & attitude...I am sorry for your loss. May God bless you!

Carrie said...

wishing I lived closer so I could bring over a plate of oatmeal raison cookies and my shoulder, I think more than anything I could simply cry with you, and eventually we could smile at God's grace.

I am blessed to know you Mandy. ((((((((((((((((HUGE Hugs around you!!)))))))))))))))))))))

EstonianWife said...

Oh dear...
First I did read your announcement on QF Digest and felt so happy... and then I came here and read this... I am so sorry.

Mommy N said...

don't know what to say, but I am thinking of you and praying for you... miss you and love you guys!

Anonymous said...


Thinking of you and your family.

I was surprised at the rush of emotion that came over me as I read your post and relived those early days after our miscarriage. We have peace now, God is so very good.

Lean hard on the Lord.


OurLilFullFam said...


I saw your post on the Qf email, then saw your link through Stacie.

I am so sorry. I will pray for you. 2 of my friends lost babies last year, right after I had Piglet. One was 17 weeks along, and one was 27 weeks along.

They are both expecting again, one in September and one in October. I know it is hard, but that is excatly what my friend Linda said about her little girl, she saw Jesus face first, what an awesome sight.


Maureen said...

I have had two miscarriages, so I feel the pain with you....
But you said it so beautifull..."When she? open her eyes for the first time, she will see the glory of God".
The words are also a consolation to me....
I will pray for you!


Melissa said...

Dear Mandy,

I was so happy to see your announcement on QF, then so saddened to see your update on the list this morning. I've been to your blog before, but never left a comment.

After conceiving our son on our honeymoon (a true honeymoon baby) we settled down thinking we would have our dream family. Turned out God had a different plan. Our son was born with special needs due to a birth injury and over the next 12 years I had 5 losses - 2 in one year.

One that really stands out to me happened in January of 2002. I called my parents at 4 in the morning as I had started losing the baby at midnight. My Mom has led a very Faithful life, my Dad less-so (Church on Christmas/Easter, etc). My Mom has prayed so very hard for so many years for him to become the "type" of husband who is by her side at Church and devotions, etc. When she woke him to tell him of our loss - he said "We will see the baby in heaven". This really touched my Mom (tears have actually sprung to my eyes writing this - here 7 years later). I'm so glad my baby was a part of this important moment.

Now, later in life as my husband and I felt we were heading into our "golden years" at nearly 39 and 43, we have been blessed with two more children 16 months apart! Our DD will be 2 on May 3rd and our son 7 months on April 25th. Our eldest will be 15 this year. Such a surprise our Father had in store for us.

It seems to me you are handling this very well, though I know that words in public sometimes cover many private tears. I am not on blogger, but I do have a yahoo address for public use - I can give you more private information through that email if you would like to write. I see you have a lot of support from those much closer than I would be...

Just know you are thought of and prayed for,


bethany said...

I saw your comment on the QF list. I miscarried on Easter morning too. I just wanted to say that it was nice to read your post about it. I keep feeling like i need to stuff the whole thing down and pretend it doesn't matter or never happened but hearing about how others respond to it really helps me to remember what it is that actually happened and how significant each little life is. Thanks for your post.

TF said...

Oh Mandy, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, please know I am praying for you and your family.

"I was thinking about how wonderful it must be to skip the heartache of earth and go directly to the golden streets and glory of Heaven."

I lost my first baby 8 years ago today, and I wish I could have read that sentence back then, so beautiful.

Kristen said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss Mandy.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear these news. I pray for comfort and healing for you and your family.

I wonder if this is uncouth, but may I ask how far along you were? I really don't mean to be insensitive, in case this comes across that way. You don't have to answer, actually. I was just wondering.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry. I was just reading your homeschooling inteview thinking you are such an amazing mom giving God so much glory.

And I was right!

I am just so sorry you are going through this.

Prayers to you and yours-

Sprittibee said...

Prayers for you, Mandy. I was there two years ago. In fact, I was due to have my little Baby S (boy, I believe), the same month I had Baby K... except a year earlier. It takes a while to heal. Stay away from Wal-Mart's baby aisle for a while. I found that I would tear up when I went by there even many months afterwords. Praying that you'll have peace and comfort... and lots of chocolate and good friends when you need them!