Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Well folks....

The excitement was short lived. I'm having some body issues. For some reason, I am unable to "hold on to" a baby. It is likely that I have miscarried more than the two times that I know of, and just thought my cycles were running really late.

I'm going to get all checked out and see if there is something that needs to be fixed. It's disappointing, but it's part of life. Hopefully an ultrasound and an exam can tell us something.

I made the decision to tell people about the pregnancy early, even though I knew it could possibly end this way because I believe every baby is a gift, whether it makes it to my arms or not.

The kids want another sibling as bad as we want to give them one, and on a daily basis I am asked, "When are we going to have another baby?" I honestly thought the first miscarriage was just some fluke of sorts, but now I'm getting the idea that there is something wrong.

If you know me, then you know I'm not a doctor person, but... well, there are times when I've got to suck that up and go! :)

We have been incredibly blessed with three beautiful children, and while I ache for another (and another, and another... ;) ) I know that I am very fortunate to have children already.

I told my friend that I'm thinking about calling out a hit on my uterus for betraying me. That'll teach her, eh? ;) Ha!

Now, I'm off to eat chocolate pie. Have a blessed day!


Angie said...

Mandy I am so sorry I know how it feels to have that yearning and then deal with the pain of it not being fullfilled.. I hold on to the fact that being a mother is not a selfish thing it is a sacrificial thing, and that this desire to have children was placed there by my Lord and Savior..
I hope you find out quickly what it is.. be sure they check your progesterone- if you do research on it- those levels are important on preventing miscarriages!

Your Sister in Christ

Arlene said...

My heart is aching for you Mandy because this is the second time and it's something you want so badly. I hope the doctor will enlighten you and give you some hope. I'm glad you have the right attitude about it, though. Every child IS a blessing, and so is every mommy. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

You attitude is right on. You are blessed, and every baby is a blessing, whether it is full-term or short-term.

I do not regret telling our children early about the babies who miscarried. Loss is a part of life and it helps them deal with it in a safe way. That's my opinion.

I am praying for you and hope the docs have some wisdom to be able to help you.

Shannon said...

So sorry! That just stinks! I have been pregnant six times and have had two losses and four live births. My four are a blessing. Over time I have come to place where the two losses are a blessing, also... although very difficult. Sometimes there is a "reason" and sometimes there is not. I actually have had a medical reason with both of my losses. The first did not implant high enough in the uterus (detected on u/s before miscarriage) and they were able to tell me I would very likely miscarry, which I did on Thanksgiving six years ago. The second was due to a fall three years ago, although the doctors will not say for sure that it was (I know... some things you just know). Anyway, my point is that sometimes even having a "reason" does not make it any easier to understand. I can tell you this I have had a healthy baby after each loss and I have felt even more blessed and realize the blessing more. Even if you don't find out a "reason" do not give up hope.

Leah said...

Oh, giant hugs. I never thought I'd know the pain of losing a baby to a miscarriage, but it happens. I'm so sorry you are going through this yet again, it's so heartbreaking. Keep trusting in God, His plan, and His timing. Sending prayers for strength your way!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about your loss.... I have been wondering if I have been having miscarriages, because I am still nursing and I get periods but they are irregular and VERRRRY long in-between... then i get all the pregnancy symptoms too.... so i'm not sure what's going on there.

i truly think this proves that God has full control over our children and when they are born and how many we will have.

we don't use birth control, and i got pregnant right away with both kids, but this time i haven't gotten pregnant at all, unless i am having early miscarriages and not realizing it.

i waste a lot of money on tests (even dollar store ones), so i made a pact with myself to not test until i really, really, really think i might be. :)

okay, that's enough from me! i hope you are are resting in Him... sounds like you are being a great example to others!

Gloria said...

Sorry Mandy. Huggs to all of you.

Amy Bayliss said...

Gosh Mandy I totally understand. I am in the same boat. I've had three miscarriages in eight months and it is not easy to walk through but we just have to keep walking, right?


love ya, girlie! I'm praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mandy
I was so thrilled for you to read about the long-awaited pregnancy,and now very saddened at how it' turning out.I'm truly sorry you're going through this again.I've had 5 miscarriages and 6 live births so please believe that it can work out and never lose faith.My prayers are with you,Anna.

Luke said...

Lord, I ask that You will continue to comfort Mandy and continue to give her Your peace. Guide her and protect her. Amen.

Hang in there!


Karin Katherine said...

I'm so sorry. I had a miscarriage in between and 1st and 2nd daughter and I still think about it. Each baby is a blessing and I pray you will get another blessing that you can hold in your arms soon.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss Mandy. Take care of yourself, Nicole.

Jess said...

Another precious child waiting to meet you when you get to Heaven. We have a child waiting for us, too. So precious.
Blessings, Jessica

EmKaye said...

I am very sorry to hear that. I know that you mention it in your post, but please be very thankful for the children that you do have. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and have difficulty getting pregnant. My husband and I have been trying for a few months now and it is a very trying and heartbreaking process. I would do anything for just one. I know that we have different problems, but they are similiar all the same. I hope that there is nothing medically wrong and it just God's way of saying now is not the time. Your fourth will come, it's just a matter of time.