Friday, February 24, 2012

39 weeks!

Still here, still pregnant!

And really, really looking forward to
another water/home birth!
(Come on, my birthing pool is all set up,
my house is super clean, and it's Friday! Come baby!)

None of my clothes fit and I have succumbed to wearing
pajama pants 24/7 with my belly hanging out a bit under my shirts.
If you don't arrive soon, Miss Molly Jo, I will have to resort to mumus.
Don't; make yo' mama do that!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

(Don't) Dive in!

The birth pool is set up!

I had a good laugh when I saw the warning on it, "NO DIVING!"  Well, harumph.  I was really hoping to start the birth off with some really cool acrobatics off the bed and into the pool!

Last night was Evangeline's first night out of our bedroom and into the official "girls' room". She did so great!  I have to admit, it's quite bittersweet for me, but I think it's good for her to transition into the room with her big sister.  Now I just need to tidy their room and do a little bit of rearranging!

The kids and I walked the mall for a couple hours yesterday which seemed to get my contractions going.  I had contractions 5 minutes apart all evening and into the morning, but they petered as I figured they would.  Good to know the body is preparing, though!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Another life growing inside of mine

#newborn fluff #clothdiapers :) #clothdiapers #newborn contour prefolds :)
Tiny little #baby #shoes She likes to snuggle with her fluff! Folding her #clothdiapers is quite the task since she runs off with them!
Trying to put on her own #clothdiapers :) 10am and I'm already tired, but I'm smiling because I know that's a good thing! Baby will be here before I know it!

I can feel the time drawing close.  Every part of my being eagerly anticipates the upcoming event as I notice each little change in my body, every tightening of the womb, all the movements of the squirmy wee infant tucked inside my body.  What a treasure, this experience. It never grows old. 
I take the short fuse of energy as a great sign. I bathe, wash my hair, blow-dry, straighten, slap on a little concealer and mascara. I start a load of laundry, I remind the children to, "brush your teeth, and brush them good," then direct them tidy their bedrooms and the common areas.  Evangeline toddles in and out of the bedrooms appearing to check up on people while she drags a blanket behind her and clutches a pink stuffed puppy I recently bought her.
I read the scriptures along with a few paragraphs in the my most recent nose-in-the-pages addiction, The Rest of the Gospel: When the partial Gospel has worn you out(Dan Stone and Greg Smith). I jot down notes, occasionally sipping my decaf Texas Pecan Coffee, with the sound of spoons clinging against cereal bowls serving as background noise in the kitchen.
Ripples across my stomach.  Tiny limbs finding themselves pressed against each other seek to stretch, and the evidence of such activity makes me smile wide because, CanYouBelieveIt? there is another life growing within mine.  Let me say that again. There is another life growing within mine.
Here I am, thisclose to birthing my fifth child, and this truth still send me reeling. How great a miracle, how awesome a gift. Oh what a God that would allow me to carry an eternal being, a precious child, within my body.  It's the eternal part that gets me.  A soul. A big spirit in a tiny vessel. I thank the Lord— thank Him for the chubby toddler who pokes her head around the corner and grins at me revealing itty bitty teeth with cute little gaps between each one, thank Him for the boys who are working together as a team to tidy their bedroom, praise Him for the answered "potty" prayer and how Keagan made it through the night completely dry, honor Him for the beautiful baby who will arrive soon and thank Him for these last moments of wrapped-in-my-skin intimacy.
I fold diapers while Evie snags a few, snuggles with them, hides in the pile.  I laugh at her antics when she tries to put her favorite one on herself, and I have the sense to catch it on video.  (I thought I uploaded it to YouTube, but... it's not there. Booo.)
At times, I slip into daydreaming about the birth.  I practice breathing, as if I'm taking in the salty ocean air.  Deep and slow and calm.  That's where I go.  To the beach of my childhood.  Imagining my toes in the sand, the contractions as waves not to be fought or conquered, but waves to flow with, float on.  Waves that take me into the shore. I relax my body, and it's not until then that I realize I've tensed up various parts, like my nose, my brow, my lips.... shoulders, even toes.  It feel so good to breathe in, filling my lungs fully, but it feels even better to exhale. Goosebumps.
The little one is so low.  Every morning I wake up, look at the bump in the mirror, and wonder if it's the day. She seems ready. Contractions come and go, and while they aren't uncomfortable or even painful, they do eventually wear me out. The heaviness of my womb is yet another reminder that the time is coming.

I think about how, once Molly Jo is born, we will have had as many losses as we do living children.  Will I, one day when I'm in Heaven, experience the pitter patter of those five pairs of feet that never made it to my arms?  How much better it must be for those little souls to open their eyes for the first time and see the face of Jesus.  I mourned their loss, but they never had to know mourning, did they?
Oh life, it's so much more than what we see and experience ourselves, isn't it?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Preparing for baby

#pregnancy 36.5 w 36.5 weeks

I've passed the 37 week mark and find myself marveling at the thought that I'm going to be a mother of five before I've even hit thirty years of age. In so many ways, I still feel like a child myself.

These last weeks have been spent preparing for the labor, birth, and ultimate arrival of our sweet little Molly Jo.  We are all very excited and eager, except for maybe little Evangeline who has no clue that her little world is about to be turned upside down as she moves out of the baby of the family stage and into her big sister role.  Hopefully that goes well!

Evie, 17 months Baby wearing while pregnant! Love my new HAVA sling!

I have my birth kit ready and waiting in the bathroom, Molly Jo's blankets, diapers, and first little outfits washed and ready to go, and the birthing pool is now in my possession, awaiting it's moment of glory.  I've organized all of Molly's clothing, diapers, and baby things (as well as Evangeline's, since we had to shift Evie's stuff out and Molly's stuff in), prepared around 20 meal-starters (currently hanging out in the freezer), and tried to clean and organize as much of the house as I can without wearing myself out (of course, this sort of thing never stays done in a household of six).

My friends threw me a wonderful baby shower Sunday, where I was showered with some great gifts, like the HAVA sling created by my friends at Nurtured Family.  The HAVA sling is my favorite baby-wearing "device" ever... and I'm really not a sling sort of gal. Ever since my friend Rebecca gave me one (last year),  I haven't used any other sort of baby-wearing thingamajig. I was super excited to receive another one from Rebecca this year (see picture above), and had to try it on.  Ah, so comfy, even with Evangeline resting on my very pregnant belly!

Baby shower! Baby shower!

My friend's teenage daughter made a gorgeous cake.  She's very, very talented, as you can see:

My baby shower cake!! So cute! My baby shower cake made by Micayla

I was feeling rather creative and crafty last week, so I put together this "raggedy quilt". The raw edges are on the outside, snipped every centimeter or so, and washes so they fray and ruffle. I have yet to wash it though.

I forget how therapeutic sewing is. Can't wait to finish this raggedy quilt for Molly Jo! Blanket finished! Just need to wash!

Earlier this week I came home from running errands to find a box of brand-spankin'-new Sbish (sustainable babyish) Multi's on my doorstep.  Free. A dozen. Free. Sbish!  If you aren't squealing or jealous it's because you don't know anything about Sbish. *smile*  Many thanks to my sweet friend for thinking of me!

*free* sbish diapers!!!! Ee! #clothdiapers A dozen *free* sbish diapers!!!!! #clothdiapers

Ah, soft and squishy fluff.  I really enjoy cloth diapering!

The pregnancy is going well, although I have definitely hit that point of exhaustion.  This is the first pregnancy in which I felt like I had loads of energy.  With all the others, I was tired and worn out from the very beginning, but only in the last week or two have I actually felt weary enough to want a nap. I am definitely slowing down these last weeks of pregnancy!  It's really been a wonderful time, and I have rather enjoyed being pregnant.  With the first three, I was very, very sick and could hardly function.  Evangeline's pregnancy was alright- no all-day-sickness, but I did tire easily... likely because we had so much going on with Merikalyn's brain surgery and the news that Evangeline's heart was not complete (praise the Lord for complete healing!).  This has really been the ideal pregnancy! Such a great gift and blessing from God!

:) my shadow! #pregnancy  Getting lower and lower!!! 37 w

The kids and I (especially Merika) have really had a fun time going through little Molly's clothing and putting her things away.  Look at some of the adorable tiny outfits we picked out!

Wee! Baby goodies! Sweet bitty baby clothing!!
(I bought Evie a matching set of onesies. I love being able to match my girls!)

Saturday, February 4, 2012