Wednesday Brandon and I were pretty sure we were miscarrying Shiloh. In his words, "There was so much blood, I didn't really think it could be anything else." In my mind, there wasn't a lot of blood, but he didn't realize that it was amniotic fluid mixed with blood, so of course it did look a lot bloodier than it was.
Wednesday was extremely uncomfortable. The contractions (which I will call cramps) were pretty steady and fairly intense, so much so that at many points during the day I couldn't even sit up or stand straight.
By Thursday, things were much more mild, and I was a bit stunned. Was this the calm before the storm? Nanci, my friend and midwife, suggested we get an ultrasound. Our favorite tech, Debbie from Sonomasters, was able to fit us in that very day!
I was nervous and excited and.... mostly terrified. I kept thinking, "It's in Jesus' hands. I can rest knowing He knows the outcome."
When Debbie put the wand to my stomach, we quickly saw a little baby blob come into view. My heart pounded furiously in my chest. Was it dead? Just waiting to expelled from my body?
"There's your baby..." she said. And I'm expecting her to tell me... well, I'm not sure what I was expecting. But I expected her to follow with bad news. But then she said Shiloh was moving. Little hands and feet waving around. Brandon and I stood there in shock. To outsiders we probably looked emotionless. Shiloh looked healthy, growing well, doing great.
Debbie found what seemed like the remnants of another sac between Shiloh's placental sac and the uterine wall. No one can be sure what exactly happened, but by our best guess, two sacs developed, and nothing developed in one of them. Maybe it was twins but the twin was too small or never developed? Who knows!? Only God. Maybe it was just an empty sac.
Thank you Jesus! Thank you Lord! Thank you for giving us the desires of our heart!
What is so amazing is that God knew all along. Nothing surprises Him. The difference in my heart attitude is only because, at one point, I knew nothing and had to trust Him "blindly", and at another, I was able to see with my own eyes the truth and because I could see, I felt like I could praise Him.
Even in just the two days that we were in suspense, thinking we were losing our little Shiloh, God poured out so much love on us through our friends. It is so, so amazing to have friends who mourn when we mourn and rejoice when we rejoice. I can't emphasize just how awesome that is.
Last night our friends invited us over for a potluck dinner with some other friends of ours, and afterwards we sat in the livingroom praying, worshipping, and singing praise for such a great, wonderful gift. What a joy it is to praise and rejoice with those whose hearts are knit to mine.
For the next two weeks I am to take it very easy while my body heals. I am told that I am not supposed to pick up babies, vacuum, or do any strenuous activities. I tried to get out of cooking, but my midwife wouldn't support me. Some kind of friend she is! Ha!
We are beyond thrilled and still in awe. I know God protected Shiloh while my body cramped and contracted, and we are praying that Shiloh continues to grow healthy and strong inside the womb until January when our baby is due to arrive!